A Little Levity

Games for When We are Older

Sag, You're It

Twenty Questions (shouted into your good ear)

Kick the Bucket

Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over

Musical Recliners

Simon Says (something incoherent)

Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

Signs of Menopause:

You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

You change your underwear after a sneeze.

Old is when …

Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend:

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Labels: Funny, Humor, Laugh

Baby Boomer

Some of the artists of the 60s & 70s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate all of us aging babyboomers. They include:

Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends

The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip

Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash

Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now

Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom

The Temptations --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts

Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair

Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping

Abba --- Denture Queen

Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Leslie Gore --- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To

Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again

Labels: Funny, Humor, Laugh