A Little Levity

Well, it's not a midlife crisis, but here's how things worked out for me:

Married 43 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 43 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 20 year-old. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63 year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 20 year-old woman to sleep with, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Getting Into Heaven

A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. Then I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!'"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."

# posted by James Shott @ 3:03 PM 0 comments