A Little Levity

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended parochial school from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, both became priests.

Their accomplishments during their early careers had come to amaze the world. But it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was a cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects. Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least. And the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, one of these two men would become the next Pope.

In time, the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world -- Catholic, Protestant and secular -- was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Cardinal Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated. Because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was the better qualified. With gall that shocked the College of Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply. "We knew you were the better of the two. But we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called Pope Secola."

# posted by James Shott @ 4:49 PM 0 comments

A tour bus driver is driving with a busload of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,

"why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

# posted by James Shott @ 9:37 PM 0 comments